Passion vs Reality - Revcounter 375

By: Guy Allen - Unique Cars magazine

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bmw 6 series 1984 bmw 6 series 1984

The clash between passion and reality is just part of life's great travesty

From Unique Cars #375, May 2015

If you value the contents of your wallet, the palatial Unique Cars office is the worst possible place to work. Walk in Monday ayem and, once the usual niceties are over (‘Hi, big ears,’ will do), we get down to the hard questions. Did you buy anything?

Often the answer is no. Sometimes it’s a qualified yes. About one week in seven (am still checking the stats), it’s a real yes. When it is, a bunch of large and ugly blokes is generally standing around the new owner’s screen making the appropriate ooh and aah noises at the photo library provided by the proud new owner. They’re clucking, for gawd’s sake. I swear I heard one of them ask, "Have you named it yet?"

Which is okay, as naming your transport of delight has a rich if sometimes underground history. From where I stand, cars are part of the family culture and should have names. Often they’ve earned it. More so than many blood (or is that ‘bloody’?) relatives – but that’s another story…

So, getting back to your average Monday morning at the palatial offices: Scott has just returned from a last-minute decision to play with the hot rod folk in Deniliquin. He’s met some stunning machinery and we’re waiting to see the plans for making his XR6 Turbo a real street bruiser.

Andy was more than likely investigating the purchase of a Ferrari variant (he says he was bush-walking – yeah, right) that even its owner doesn’t yet appreciate. It’s only a matter of time before he turns up happily jingling the keys in our faces.

Angelo was fretting over when in hell his Thunderbird will be back in his shed, and has been spied ogling another project on the dreaded interweb. He’s at the deep end of restorer blues at the moment and will be unstoppable when he hits the other end of that U-shaped curve.

Uncle Phil, meanwhile, was pondering whether he can finally get that damned MGB MkII (yes, we all thought he was a dyed-in-the-wool V8 tragic) he’s always fancied. It would sit nicely in a garage that currently looks like a Benz/Ford/Sunbeam museum.

Me, I’m swinging between the shock of buying two cars in the last two years and struggling to get all three of the monsters/bastards (a 1979 Kingswood, a 1976 BMW 633 and a 2002 BMW 540) running at the same time. But I drove this Porsche 911 the other day which had me hooked, and that Jag XJS-R we featured got my attention too. Would the budget stretch to either?

Workshop guru Morley, who has the automotive ownership attention span of a gnat, is flitting between his Commodore SS, the Charger, the Beetle, the Porsche, a Kombi and the E-Type Jag, which I suspect he wants to sell. Save us – make him an offer before we do, please!

As for Glenn Torrens, he’s recovering from a full-on and spectacularly frustrating speed trial with the Dry Lake Racers driving his Beetle, while cheerfully talking about next year. And, for crying out loud, restoring three more Beetles.

Kerrist on a bloody crutch. It’s a disease.

As diseases go, it’s a great one to have, even if the symptoms are constant poverty and frustration. But you meet some damned good people along the way.

You have two choices – walk away now while you’re still young and rich or get involved and risk enjoying yourself.

If your choice is the latter, the email is and you can also reach our fabulous offices via analogue at Unique Cars mag, Locked Bag 12, Oakleigh 3166. Oh, get in touch on Facebook and tell us your story…

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